I’m really missing my wife right now.
I’d say it’s because it’s Valentine’s Day, and that she’s on the other side of the world, but that’s only half true. Through some miraculous luck, I ended up marrying a truly un-sentimental woman. Together we are deeply un-sentimental on a level bordering on nihilist.
On our six-year anniversary (If I am remembering this correctly) I was away working in Pennsylvania at dinner with some co-workers. Someone asked me how long I had been married. That’s when I realised it was our anniversary. I texted Christine to tell her, she was also dining with co-workers, and she texted back that she ALSO had just realised it was our anniversary while talking to her friends.
So that’s about the level we’re at. When our ten year anniversary was coming up, we actually had a conversation about what we could try to do so we wouldn’t feel guilty at not doing much of anything.
No, the reason I miss my wife is because while I am here in Seattle, feeling like more than half of my brain is missing, Christine is out there having her own big adventure, and she’s really great at it. I’m amazed that she is able to not only bounce from place to place, but take photos along the way, and tell stories about it, and all of the other things she does behind the scenes that make our lives work, and help me work out the logistics of my own trip.
I don’t see how great that is when I am up super close to it. It gets lost, normalised. I’m getting to see her do her thing as if I’m a reader of her blog, but I also get to see the process of how she gets those things done. Late nights, no moments wasted. If she has five minutes of free time, four and a half minutes of that will be spent Getting Stuff Done.
I’m on my own adventure for now, and it’s a good one. And while it is Valentine’s Day, these tips I’m about to drop can be applied by anyone, at any time, and they should be.
Here’s what you do when it’s Valentine’s Day and you and your partner aren’t the sentimental type. Super easy, just two things:
1 – LISTEN.
Put down your phone. Look up from the computer. Make eye contact. Pay attention. If you are being spoken to, be respectful of them and their time. These days, that goes a long way.
2 – BE PLEASANT
Some people are a natural at being pleasant. I am… prickly… and high strung. If you fall somewhere in between happy-go-lucky and high-strung-Drew, then just make an effort to be nicer than you were the day before, without conditions on what needs to happen for you to be nice.
THAT’S ALL THE TIPS. Really, not being sentimental is not an excuse to not make an effort. And the very least anyone can do for their partner, the very least a partner can expect from their significant other, is to try.