If you can make your beard into the shape of a handlebar moustache, are you winning at beard or losing at beard?


This summer I started growing the facial hair out. The final playground of the grown-ass-man. Christine was for it, we agreed that it was the “Bike Tour Beard”. There wouldn’t be a ton of places to shave, so it made sense to just roll with it, “take back control” and do it on purpose.

Then we reached Romania and tucked into Sibiu to get some work done, and the beard remained. When I discussed shaving it, Christine jokingly forbid it. She had this (naive, hahaha) idea that she was going to make me grow the beard until it became so unbearable that I would never threaten to grow my facial hair out again.

It didn’t take. I mean, obviously. That was this summer and this thing is still going. I sort of think she’s starting to like it.


I’m not going to pretend this is some epic beard. There are far superior beards out in the wilds. This guy is for sure doing it right, and here are far superior bunch of dad-beards.

Now, with me leaving Christine and the kids to tour our movie, I’m forced to make the choice of shaving this thing off and (as always, any time I shave my facial hair off) looking like a peeled potato for a few days, or keeping it until I see my kids again.

I can’t leave my children while rocking a beard, return to them three months later looking like a peeled potato. That would freak them out. I wouldn’t want my little girl to cry like this little girl did when her dad shaved his beard off. (See video below.)

So the beard stays on the face until I reunite with these kids. If you come see me while I tour the film, I’ll be the somewhat lumberjack-looking guy taking questions after each showing.