Since becoming a dad myself, I’ve been on high alert for smug parents. I watch new parents I meet hawkishly, waiting for them to show their smug hand, bragging about how their child could do sign language at two months, walking at four, high fiving at seven. You know the type.
I am constantly disappointed, and a little concerned. Where are these parents? Did Hollywood invent them? Am I just lucky to run into really great, cool parents all the time? Does the fact that I never run into these people mean that… *gulp* I am the smug parent? Aw crap.
I am a smug parent, sadly. At least with regards to Cole being really really ridiculously good looking. As for development milestones though, not so much. Not that he’s behind the curve, he seems to be pretty much on target with everything that we’ve read. Watching him get the concept of putting things into other things was particularly amazing to watch, and one of those parental moments that is absolutely impossible to explain to people who don’t have children of their own.
“Hey Drew, how’s it going?”
“I’m awesome! I was just watching Cole put toys into a box and then pull them back out again. He just kept doing it over and over. My mind is officially blown.”
“Oh… that does sound… awesome.”
So with the walking, we were in no rush. Early on we even dreamed up joking scenarios that involved pushing him down and screaming at him to scare him if he decided to start walking too early. (That… sounds a lot funnier when you hear us actually talking it out. As I reads here, it sounds more like child services needs to be called.)
Well, a couple of days ago, he walked. It was not too early, so we did not shove him down and/or scream at him OKAY SEE? WE AREN’T THAT TERRIBLE AT THE PARENTING. HAPPY ENDING!
Walking might be a strong word. He “took steps” (three, specifically) which were quickly followed by “more stepping” (five) soon after, and now he stays up later in the night because he doesn’t want to miss out on practicing his… walking (Ten. TEN. Crap that is SO walking).
Thus begins the phase of my new parenting life I was looking forward to the least: Having a kid so covered in bruises that we’ll get looks from every single person we run into.